March 15, 2011

Fortitude-(noun)-mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger or temptation courageously.

Every time I post, I am going to insert a virtue that I want to work on. Today's virtue is "fortitude". I want to learn to face adversity with my head high. I want to be mentally strong when I'm faced with something new or something difficult. I want to be able to turn away from temptation that isn't right for me. Fortitude.

March 11, 2011

Alright, I'm going to start by posting this link. http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Supreme_Court/westboro-baptist-church-quadruple-military-funeral-protests-supreme/story?id=13039045

Let me just start by saying that these soldiers, these "punishments for a screwed up America" are the ONLY reason you are given the first amendment right to freedom of speech. You're not speaking your God's word. You know nothing of this God. Your hatred is one hundred percent human. Your spite comes from YOURS, not God's heart and you are no better than the people who are killing our brothers, sons, fathers, sisters, and mothers. You don't deserve the rights of the constitution when you abuse them the way you are. Wars have been fought since before homosexuality was an issue. Wars have been fought and soldiers have died way before today's world. Your scenario does not fit. And since you obviously don't know the God you say you represent, I can honestly say that if he is as spiteful and unforgiving as you, I'm glad that I don't know him. The God I choose to believe in HONORS our fallen. He does not punish out of hate and anger. He loves EVERYONE, even homosexuals. God is not interested in dealing emotional stress to people. You are extremely arrogant in assuming you are the mouth of god. Let me ask you something; How much do you get paid to be the "mouth of God" ? I bet it's a lot more than you deserve. You get paid to walk around and talk about hate and hell and being punished while people like Abigail Moore, a United States Marine, are willing to give up EVERYTHING of monetary value to go and teach God's love to underprivileged countries. Again, you know NOTHING of the word of god. You are no better than the soldiers who died on Afgan soil. You are not above them because you stay in the safety of America and picket their funerals. As a matter of fact, you are BELOW them. To hold up a sign to a fallen soldier that reads "GOD HATES YOU" is completely lacking in morals. You, sir, and your entire church are what make humanities destruction imminent.

06 March 2011;My rant for the day.

So one would think that after eight months, a person would be ready to move on. You, however, are not. I don't know if you need me to spell it out for you, but for your benefit, I will. You have been broken up for over nine months. We have been together for eight. There is NO reason you should be texting and calling him with shit about your relationship. You are not asking for friendship like that. You are asking him to hold on to you the way you are holding onto him. If he wants to be friends, he will make it a point to find you. If you want to be friends, then stop bringing up your past and then throwing a hissy fit when he does not share your nostalgia. You are spoiled and you are selfish and the way you are acting is not a display of love. It is a little girl who didn't get what she wanted. You lash out when you are unhappy and it makes you seem like an ugly person. I do not know you personally, so I cannot make an adequate judgement on your character, but from what you have shown, I can say that your idea of who you are does not fit the reality. You see yourself as a wonderful person, and that's fine. But practice what you preach. Apologizing later does not make it okay to say what you want. It does not give you the right to use your words like weapons against someone you supposedly "love" just because you're not getting your way. He is a WONDERFUL person. He is thoughtful and kind and he has done everything to minimize hurting you, even putting our own relationship at risk. So when you sit back and throw your hissy, remember that it is that person that he fell out of love with. You are not the person you convince yourself that you are. Before you point fingers at him, make sure that your damn hands are clean.

Rant number two:
Cheating is cheating. I thought I wasn't mad, but I am. Yes, it was seven months ago. Yes, we had only been together a month. Yes, I had the chance to walk away before it ever happened. But, we WERE together. One month or eight months doesn't make a difference. If you would cheat then, there's always a chance you could cheat now. I could have walked, but I didn't. I saw something in you;The same thing I see in you as I sit across from you now. You are an amazing person. You are smart and thoughtful and kind. You are compassionate. You are a good person. And I love you for all those things and so many more. But I have overlooked enough in the last eight months. I overlooked your indecisiveness. I overlooked her calling and texting and sending me messages. I overlooked her coming up to me in public. I overlooked your unwillingness to tell her about us for three months. I overlooked the late night phone calls and texts. I overlooked you disappearing with her for hours or days and not being able to talk to you. I overlooked you running to her when she "needed" you. And months later, I have continued to overlook her calls and texts. I won't anymore. We can make it through this. And I will eventually learn to forgive you and trust you again. But I will be given the assurance that this ends now. I should be confident in your feelings and your faithfulness. I will not settle for anything less. And I know you can be the man your mother raised you to be. I know you can be the man you want to be. I believe that you can. Yes, I am mad and hurt and sick to my stomach right now. But I love you enough to fight through that for us. I hope you love me enough to do the same.