December 2, 2010

I find that every day holds something new for me;Even days that seem repetitive to me. Every day I learn something new-How to cope, how to put one foot in front of the other. I'm slowly working on myself. I'll keep chiseling away at who I am until I feel like I'm the person I should be. I love Derek. I know that and I'm starting to trust that now. Thanksgiving has passed. It was a good day. I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much more than I deserve out of this life. I graduated today. I was the most proud I've ever been of myself. And to hear Ryan say he was proud made me a million times happier. Normally, people would be saying "welcome to the real world" now;I guess I've been in the "real world" for years though. Not much is different other than not having to worry about school anymore. I'm considering taking some online classes before I leave for basic and such-just to get a head start on everything. I just don't know if I can handle it. I'm just way beyond happy today. There's really no other word for this euphoria. Part of me feels like this happiness will disappear as quickly as it has come;but part of me also doesn't care. I love days like this. I feel like me again&&it's breath-taking. I feel whole. Derek is the best boyfriend I've ever had, by far. He brings out a better person in me;He makes me feel like I am a better person when I'm with him. He makes me smile and laugh like nobody ever has. I don't deserve him;but I'm thankful for him, nonetheless. And I won't let one day pass without telling him that he's amazing. But I'm off to the skating rink and then to Jamie's. I'll write soon.